For the summer. Damn. I’m not good with long distance crap. Makes me sad.

Fuck buddies always end up being a big no no. When one does not realize that there no longer the consensual agreement of talking sexually, it probably isn’t a good idea to tell me that my boyfriend is missing out while he’s gone for the summer. I don’t quite appreciate unnwarrented advances as such. It’s just weird. I guess this is what I get for being nice to a former fling.

So, today at the psychiatrist’s, I realized something while we were discussing video games (exactly why I love him). The posse we once had will never exist again. It is a shame, really, that we grew to hate each others existence that much. Because I do miss your companionship. Since all this shit happened, I hated you for wasting six years of my life, and I hated myself for taking you back the week of Autumn’s wedding when I had already started to pack. But now I’m finally willing to just let it all go. I’m sick of living so bitterly, assuming that everyone is going to hurt and lie like you did. In fact, I’m finally starting to realize that maybe it wasn’t a waste of years, but rather a learning experience to shape me into a better person. Strangely enough, I can’t recall the last time I have felt this confident in myself. I’m not terrified of social situations anymore, I’m finding that people actually do like to be around me, and I’m not as terrible as you tried to put me off to be. In fact, I don’t even regret living through the six months of hell you put me through anymore, because if the timing hadn’t been right, I probably wouldn’t have met Jeff. I just feel that if I continue to be bitter about everything that happened, I eventually will begin to wear myself down over time. And I just don’t want to allow that to happen for the sake of myself and everyone around me. So I’m finally letting the grudge go, and it feels pretty damn awesome.